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So far, we have looked only at illegal, recreational steroid use. Many gay men, however, also take testosterone for medical reasons — from tackling HIV to genetic conditions to old age. In the third and final part of our series, we share their stories as well. In his late 50s , Mike realized he was more violent than he had ever been as a drug dealer.

In his years of peddling to feed his addiction, he never had to resort to violence. At six feet four inches, his mere presence was enough to keep danger at bay. You make them laugh, you know? You only have to have the appearance of being intimidating. Stay connected, and tell a friend. So why, then, after hitting rock bottom, after walking away from drugs with the seemingly miraculous help of a psychologist, after getting his real estate business back on track, was he suddenly so angry all the time?

It was irrational. The next week another came. After running a few blood tests, he put Mike on a regimen of milligrams a week. On testosterone, he regained control of his temper and his life. He was able to strip away some extra weight at the gym. Mentally, he felt sharp. Physically, he felt back in his 20s. Mike worries sometimes about the health effects of testosterone injections, but his doctor — like many experts in the field today — says that low doses are relatively safe.

His injections are a tiny fraction of what a bodybuilder might use. And for Mike, testosterone prevented a much darker fate. Murray, a retired teacher, remembers how steroids saved his life, and then almost killed him again. He was working in London when he was admitted to hospital with blood leaking into his brain. He had HIV, and his platelet count was so low he was hemorrhaging.

The only thing that would save his life, a doctor told him hurriedly, was to raise his platelet count quickly. The only thing that would do that was a massive shot of steroids — larger, Murray says, than his nurse had ever seen. The shot worked but created problems of its own. Murray also had diabetes, and the waves of testosterone coursing through his veins sent his blood sugar into uncontrollable loops.

One moment he would be violently ill, the next semi-conscious. For the next week, he checked his blood sugar every 15 minutes and took insulin six times a day. Murray does not remember steroids fondly. Like, if you have diabetes, I mean, you go blind. You lose your feet.