How to ask someone if they are gay

While you can’t always tell if someone is gay by how they look, you can observe them to see if they're queer. However, you may need to talk to them if you want to be sure. If you’re interested in dating them, start by asking them to hang out as friends so you can get to know them better. In the category of what’s appropriate and what’s not during an interview, questioning both gender and sexual identity is clearly a current topic.

Think transgender actress Laverne Cox, who is one of the most popular characters on Orange Is the New Black, or Oregon Gov. Kate Brown, the first openly bisexual governor in US history. Start out just trying to be friends. Get to know him, see if you have common interests - then you can know if he’s even someone you’d want to date, as opposed to someone you just think is cute. If you two are friends first he’ll know your sexuality and it’s likely that he’ll tell you his too.

How should I respond to rumors that someone is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender? Let others know that the sexual orientation or gender identity of any individual is irrelevant unless that person wishes to disclose that information. If you can, address any myths or stereotypes that may be fueling such speculation. Here are three ways to discreetly find out if someone you know is gay. 1. Pay Attention to Body Language and Eye Contact: Body language can be a powerful tool in understanding someone’s feelings or preferences without having a direct conversation.

Scott Bright , Advice Columnist January 30, So I have been working at my current place of employment for around five years now. When we go out, we often talk about our personal lives, romantic or otherwise. They never comment on any of the guys we talk about, nor do they say anything about our waitress. My question is: is it rude to ask my coworker if they are gay?

Thankfully, I have plenty of energy to perform the emotional labor of explaining why everything you just wrote me is problematic to the queer community. Let me lay down a rule of thumb for you before we dive into this: when wondering if approaching somebody about a certain topic even remotely feels like it could be rude, it more than likely is. For instance, is it rude to ask if someone has gained weight? I want to break down your intro paragraph.

First, you presumably work in a retail store. You go out regularly with what I assume to be a consistent group of coworkers. You also often seem to discuss very personal subjects. I have to ask, has every person in this group made clear the boundaries of discussion? Are you aware of the comfort level of this coworker when discussing these topics? Not everybody is comfortable disclosing their romantic or sexual lives with the people they work with.

This might be the case with your coworker. You said you do not know this person very well; this might be for a reason. People are allowed to retain privacy in their lives. This includes sexual, romantic, or any other detail. Or it could be some combination of any of these. I notice that a common theme when your group of co-workers goes out to eat and drink is that you commonly bring up incredibly personal topics.

Have you considered that your coworker simply wants to hang out with her coworkers after work and eat with some familiar and friendly faces? I would recommend practicing conscientious conversation. Become aware of the topic you are discussing and how others are responding to it, particularly your coworker. Lastly, I have to address the whole reason you wrote to me. It is undeniably inconsiderate and rude to ask any person about their sexual preference.

Still contributing as the Pinnacle's advice columnist, he lives, Ask Scott.

how to ask someone if they are gay without asking

Cancel reply. Your email address will not be published. You are spot on, Scott. Thank you for your thoughtful answer.